Listening with compassion
Today’s is an interesting topic… While I have no desire to become a counselor, I do want to be a friend who others feel confident telling their problems to, someone who will walk through problems with them. (That doesn’t make me a counselor, does it?)
There’s a balance between truth and grace in walking someone through a tough time. The grace involves lots of compassion – unconditional love, and listening in such a way that the other person feels like they have been heard and cared for. And truth involves not just being the friend who tells them what they want to hear; it means saying the hard things, and finding a loving way to do so.
What Neil calls counseling, I might call friendship. Proverbs talks about how iron sharpens iron, and compares that to a good friendship. Sure, it’s easier to gloss over the hard things, or offer easy advice instead of the truth, but if I truly love a friend, I’m called to lay down my life (and my comfort) for them.
Lord, may I love my friends enough to tell them the truth, but do so in such a loving way that they will be able to receive it. And help me keep listening to hear Your voice, so it’s not my ideas, but Yours, that I will be speaking.
Michele that was beautifully said, There’s a balance between truth and grace in walking someone through a tough time. The balance between truth and grace and finding God’s words to help you say it.
ReplyDeleteI know friendship is so important, especially during hard times. It does take someone special that is listening to God and praying for you to really help you through a troubled time. And Neil is right People don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.
I had several friends, "counselors" in my life helping me hear God’s voice during the two year struggle I had at work. It was very painful and long, I was praying all the time and although I heard God’s voice during this time, the length of time it took to be resolved casued me to begin to doubt myself at times. I know without my friends and family praying for me and speaking God’s word into me I would not have pulled through as triumphantly as I did. It was God who ultimately healed me but my friends walked side by side with me and held me up when I could not take another step myself. I knew God loved me and heard me as I cried out for Him, but I heard Him the loudest and clearest through my friends or “counselors” and I believe He spoke through them to me. Thank you my friends! Thank you God for your grace in my life and may I help someone as I have been helped. May I speak your words into someone as my friends have spoken your words into me.
Proverbs 27:9
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.