April 30, 2011

Not fair

Forgiving…  It’s so unfair.  I wasn’t the one who was wrong, but I get stuck with the consequences…  The first time I read today’s entry, it was such a revelation.  There it was in black and white – yup, not fair.  Yup, I need to choose to be okay with it.  More to the point, because of the cross, I get to choose to be okay with it.

When Jesus tells the story of the unforgiving servant, I see myself…  This dude owed more money than you could shake a stick at (they did have sticks back then…), and when he was on the doorstep of the prison (figuratively), the king calls him back and forgives him.  Debt cancelled.  Was it fair?  No.  The king chose to take the loss.  Not fair, but merciful.

It really helps me to put it into those terms.  There are times the person who hurt me won’t ever say they are sorry, and for some reason, that seems to add to the tab.  I love that Neil tells us to get in touch with the feelings that are there – it sounds very EHS*, doesn’t it?  It’s the equivalent of cleaning out the infection in order for the wound to heal – sorry for the yucky analogy.  I’m probably grossed out more than you are.

Forgiveness deals with me, not what the other person did to me.  Having someone hurt me makes me feel powerless, but I don’t have to stay that way.  I can make the choice to take the loss, pay they owe me, and live as a healthy person. 

Thank you, Jesus, for showing me how.

*EHS = Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Pete Scazzero – we did a series on this at church a couple of years ago

April 29, 2011

The Road of Independence leads where - ?

Ever have something that’s impossible to forgive?  Okay, maybe not impossible, but pretty darn near close? 

I love what Neil says:  Forgetting may be a result of forgiving, but it is never the means of forgiveness.  In other words, my hurt doesn’t just go away on its own if enough time passes. 

I noticed something…  When Neil was talking about God remembering our sins no more (from Hebrews 10), it’s an act of His will not to bring up and rehearse all my failures.  He has chosen to let them lie. 

Have you ever been so hurt by someone that you end up having conversations with them in your head?  I have.  Maybe it’s because I would never confront them; maybe it’s because I want to be prepared for when I do just that.  Whatever the reason, those conversations serve only one purpose, and that’s to go back over all the ways in which I was hurt.  I’m justifying, defending my right to stay hurt, when I do this.

Hebrews says God actively remembers no more – actively chooses not to think about the ways I’ve hurt Him – and that’s how He forgives.  That’s a really tall order for me. 

Two things, though – first, as Neil points out, God would never ask me to do something that was impossible.  Yes, I’m going to need His help, but isn’t that the point?  If I walk the Road of Independence, I’ll stay in Self Pityland, and never make it out (it’s like the Molasses Swamp).  I have to do it God’s way to succeed.

Second, why do I need to forgive?  It’s such a painful process, and the person who hurt me doesn’t deserve it. 

Go back to the first paragraph:  Why is forgiveness so critical to our freedom?  Because of the cross…

The point of the cross is that as a forgiven child of God, I extend that life-giving forgiveness…  That’s the restoration Jesus came to bring.  Awesome.

April 28, 2011

Active Duty

Today’s blog will be presented in two parts.

First, faith is active, not passive.  What is it that takes me from an immature Christian to a mature one?  I think it’s the degree to which I’m willing to find out what God wants me to do, and then do it.  I have to move; I have to make a change.  It doesn’t matter how much I know, it matters how much I do.

You might be thinking, Wow, I remember back when I was an immature Christian…  Uh, oops.  And I say that because I’m in the same boat with you… 

There’s no line of scrimmage we push our way across and – poof! – suddenly we’re mature!  (If only…)  It’s a lifelong process, and we become mature by degrees.  No matter how long we live, there will always be someone farther along in the process than we are.  We won’t fully get there until we’re in the presence of Christ, transformed.

God’s been speaking to me about being stuck.  Sure, I’m hearing from Him and learning new stuff, but where is the change?  Yup, that’s what I’m hearing.  Now, to get doing…

As for the second part, the last paragraph is one of my favorites in the whole devotional.  I love it!  It’s awesome. 

There was a movie several years ago about a convict who had three strikes against him, which meant life in prison without parole.  He was recruited for an insanely dangerous assignment.  It was called Triple X (the three strikes), and the criminal was played by Vin Diesel. 

He and two other guys were transported in an airplane to a remote place, and instead of bothering to land the plane, our guys were dumped out of the back while the plane flew low.  You could see the fear on the faces of the first two guys, but then Vin takes the scene with a confident, “I live for this stuff!”  (Okay, I did make an edit here, but you get the idea.)  He’s out of the plane, he gets up, shakes himself off, and he’s good to go.

It occurred to me that, while I’m no superhero, as a Christian, I’ve got an all-powerful, miracle-working God on my side, and there’s nothing I should fear!  As long as I’m doing the thing He wants me to do, whatever the obstacles or hardships, I can say, Bring it on!  I live for this stuff! 

I think I needed that inspiration today.  Active duty?  Count me in.  Are you with me?

April 27, 2011

Pride starts small

In my experience, we as humans don’t just up and say to God, I’m taking Your job!  Move over! 

No, we would never fall for that one.  We know too much.

But second-guess someone who’s in charge of something, believing in our heart that we could do a better job?  That’s no big deal, right?  Hmmm.

The story of the three servants in Matthew 25:14-30 (you know, the one where the master goes away and leaves them each with money to invest for him) ends with this moral:  if you’re faithful with the little things, you’ll be faithful with bigger ones, too. 

If I am going to keep my heart pure, it means being on guard for the half-truths that get me into trouble.  Sometimes it’s finding fault with the way someone else does things, thinking I’ve got it all going on.  Sometimes it’s looking too hard at what I’ve accomplished, instead of keeping my eyes where they belong – on Christ.

I love the way Neil closed this one:  Instead, your life should be characterized by worshipful humility and obedience to God.

April 26, 2011

They keep my teeth clean and prevent tartar build-up!

Wow – there’s just so much here in the reading today.  Again, Neil takes things down quite a different road from where I thought we were going. 

At issue seems to be that the longer (more intently) I look at something, the more I want it.  What captivates my attention?  What do I spend my time reading, watching, doing?  What am I fascinated with?

God created a beautiful world, and He did so with us in mind…  He knew that when we are standing in front of a breathtaking scene – whether it’s a thundering waterfall or a patch of tiny, exquisite flowers – our soul is enriched.  We feel peace and awe.  I think He did all that so we’d have a taste of what it will be like to stand before His awesome beauty. 

The fact that we’re so visually geared was a gift from God, but instead Satan uses that gift for our downfall.  Hey, look over here!  Sadly, we’re easily distractible, which makes us easier to lead astray. 

Picture the dog trainer who puts the milk bone on the dog’s nose…  The only way the poor dog can handle the temptation is to keep its eyes on the trainer.  Wow.  An unlikely metaphor, but it works for me!  (Plus, if I remember right, those milk bone biscuits don’t taste all that bad…)

One more thing…  I love what Neil said in the last paragraph:  There is no way you can cleverly word a prayer so that God must respond to it. 

What a relief!  That frees me to focus on Him more as I pray, and less on me.  And isn’t that the point?

April 25, 2011

Temptation, part 1

Neil:  When Satan tempts you…he will invite you to fulfill your needs in ways that are outside the boundary of God’s will.  Whenever you feel enticed to meet a legitimate need by acting independently of God, you are being tempted through the lust of the flesh.

There are two ways I’m thinking of this…  First, when we violate what God’s word says about something, we are outside the boundary of His will.  There are things we know are wrong, like lying, but as we’re tempted, we can convince ourselves that there are extenuating circumstances that justify a lie.  A legitimate need seems like a good reason to bend a rule, whichever one it is, right?  But therein lies the problem.

The second way I’m thinking about this is how I act independently of God…  There are times when I don’t check in with Him before doing something that could be justified, but isn’t good for me.  If the Holy Spirit is whispering to me that I ought to be doing something else, I’m too busy charging ahead to listen.  My act of independence is the problem. 

When we started this section yesterday, I read the phrase “the lust of the flesh” and was curious as to how it would translate.  I’m back to the prayer, Lord, I trust You to meet this need (whatever it is at the moment)…

April 25, 2011

Happy Easter!

Reading today’s entry, I’m challenged…  I need to make the connection between my Savior, Jesus, who bled and died for me and then rose from the dead, victorious (awesome!), and my run-of-the-mill, everyday sin that I’m working to conquer.  I’m the reason He had to do it all, but because of His incredible power, He broke sin’s power forever.  That’s the power available to me to overcome sin (again – it’s awesome!).

And in other non-Easter news, lately I’ve been challenged as I recognize the sin of pride in my life.  It’s driving me towards God, to be reminded that my confidence is based in Him, not myself.  I’m pretty sure I struggle with the other two types of temptations Neil describes as well, but for the last few days, this is where I’m living.

Have a joyous Easter celebrating Jesus’ resurrection, and may we be transformed again by His awesome power.

April 23, 2011

Where am I?

At first, I was distracted by the fact that the rest of the verses Neil is talking about weren’t written out.  How is John showing a progression when the steps are out of order?  It seemed kind of vague. 

Then I looked up the rest of the passage (this is from the New Living Translation):

I am writing to you, my dear children, because your sins have been forgiven because of Jesus. 

I am writing to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. 

I am writing to you who are young because you have won your battle with Satan. 

I have written to you, children, because you have known the Father.

I have written to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning.

I have written to you who are young because you are strong with God’s word living in your hearts, and you have won your battle with Satan.

1 John 2:12-14

Yup, there it all is.  Why does it seem to loop back and repeat?  My two (non-scholarly) ideas are these…  In Hebrew poetry, things are often written in parallel, either comparing two things that are opposite, or that are the same for emphasis.  The book of Proverbs has tons of examples.  The format of these verses is really different from those before and after, which makes me think John was waxing poetic… 

My other thought was about the emotion behind the verses.  It seems like a place where John took a break from explaining stuff to address his audience directly.  He’s reminding them of who they are and what they know.  Pretty strong stuff.

So it seems like we go from being forgiven to learning what to do with that forgiveness, until we finally know Christ in a significant way.  We don’t just know about Him, we know Him.

Where am I?  Where are you?  

April 22, 2011

Scrubbing Bubbles

As I read today’s entry, I’m thinking about the believer who thinks they are a bad Christian because they can’t stop themselves from making the same bad choices they made before they were saved. 

We’ve covered this ground, sure, but it hits me again that the enemy uses the a good thing – our desire to please God by doing what’s right – and turns it into guilt and condemnation.  For a new believer who doesn’t know better, it’s so easy to get discouraged and give up! 

The process by which we learn the discipline of saying no to our old ways begins in our thinking.  We must, as Neil puts it, transform our old pattern for thinking…by renewing our minds.  How do we renew our minds?  One way is by soaking in God’s word. 

I love the imagery in Ephesians 5:26…  The passage is speaking to husbands about how to love their wives – the same way Christ loved the church.  It describes how Christ gave Himself as a sacrifice for the church, to purify her and make her clean.  The imagery is that of being washed in the word. 

How cool!  As I read and digest God’s word, it’s at work, cleaning me on the inside.  I’m picturing the Scrubbing Bubbles cleaner – you spray it on, and even when you aren’t paying attention, they are still working. 

I change my behavior by renewing my mind as I read God’s word. 

April 21, 2011

Independence

Several years back, a couple we were friends with was talking about a really hard time they had gone through in their marriage.  What the wife said really surprised me – she said that because she didn’t know where things would end up (whether the marriage would stay intact), she started to take steps towards being able to live on her own and be okay.  She was speaking mostly about finances and logistics with her kids, but she also admitted that she was pulling away from her husband, too.

Thankfully, they worked things through, and now have a healthy, solid marriage. 

Neil has this to say:  It is this learned independence that makes the flesh hostile toward God. 

As I thought of my friends, I could imagine the tension building as she planned for the possibility of being on her own.  The act of moving towards independence fed the wrong thing in her.  It wasn’t until she made a fresh commitment to stay in the marriage that her heart was turned back towards her husband.

My predisposition is to live independently of God; when I give in to those impulses, I’m sabotaging my relationship with Him.  When I live as if I don’t need God, it’s more than the fact that I’m not doing my best for Him, or living in His fullest blessing.  I’m inflicting injury on the bond we have.

Like my friend, I can’t live with one foot out the door.  Marriage is a great illustration of our relationship with God…  If I’m living in the same house as my husband but don’t talk to him very often or check in with him regarding plans, much less have those heart-to-heart talks, it’s not a healthy marriage. 

Thankfully, Neil leaves us with this:  Be aware that you no longer have to obey that preprogrammed bent to live independently of God.  You are a child of God, and you are free to put to death those fleshly deeds and obey Christ.

April 20, 2011

I want my two years back…

What a story!  Anything that starts out “When I was in the Navy…” is worth reading, in my book… 

My first thought was, Ok, Neil – how did you spend two years with this new Old Man and not get him?  And then I was reminded of how I put the baggage from my growing up onto God… 

For some people, having an abusive or absent father leads to not being able to fully trust the Heavenly Father.  For me, it was a parent whose approval I never felt I earned, so I’ve gone through life worrying about God’s disapproval.  He’s made it pretty clear in His word how He feels about me – wouldn’t you think I’d know by now? 

What was your experience growing up?  My parents are good, loving people who raised me to love God, and yet they were still just imperfect people.  I don’t blame them, but unless I look at the patterns I established in my early years, I won’t fully be able to break free and lead a healthy life.

The thing that struck me most about Neil’s story was that he spent two years fearing this man…  I was sad for those two years that were wasted!  How many years of my life have been wasted on what’s less than God’s best for me?  What can I do to remedy that?

April 19, 2011

Did it get weird in here?

What were those women thinking?  How do you switch from church meeting to, Hey, let’s channel spirits? 

Wait, is there a little pride in my question?  I’d like to think I would have known better.  But there’s a chance that one or several of them would have thought the same thing, until they were in the middle of it.

When the enemy has a plan for something big, it usually starts out with something small.  There is a small lie that if we’re on our guard, we will recognize, and it ends there.  But if we’re disposed to giving someone the benefit of the doubt, if we like the gray areas of things much more than the absolutes, we could find ourselves in trouble.

This past week, CNN.com ran an article about the Branch Davidians (followers of David Koresh, many of whom were killed in the standoff at Waco, Texas, in 1993). 

Believe it or not, there are a handful of surviving members who still believe Koresh was the Messiah, and that he will be returning in glory someday soon.  Despite everything bad that Koresh did, and the violence he antagonized, they are still loyal.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

There are three crucial points to understanding the Branch Davidian brand of religion.  First, God can appear in the flesh as a man. Second, that man doesn't have to be a good person. Third, if you question whether that man is God, then you are questioning God. In other words, the devil is responsible for your doubt.
You can find the entire article here: 

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/04/14/waco.koresh.believers/index.html?hpt=C1

Well-intending, sincere, devout people’s lives were destroyed by putting their faith in the wrong place. 

We don’t just have to believe; we have to believe in the true God.  We have to know what we believe, and what the Bible says.  And we have to be ready to help friends who are searching for the truth.

April 18, 2011

Beware of knock-offs

Is New Age still going strong, or did it peak 15 years ago?  I’m not entirely sure.  The thing about the strategies of the enemy, though, is that the basics tend to be recycled from one form to the next.  In addition, they all have elements of the truth. 

As Neil described monism – that all is one (are one?) and one is all, the thing I thought of was that in the garden of Eden, God took the dust of the earth and made Adam.  From dust we came, and to dust we will return…  In a Lion King circle of life type of way, we’re made of the same stuff.  But that doesn’t mean there’s a common consciousness I can reach with the world around me – that’s not going to happen.

Speaking about the idea that all is God, I was thinking about the Holy Spirit who lives in us as believers.  What an awesome truth – there’s no place I can go that God doesn’t go with me!  All is God is a knockoff idea, because if we are all God, God isn’t holy or in charge or special in any way. 

As for the moment of realization, instead of thinking that we are God, we come to a moment in which we recognize our need for God.  The lie tells us we don’t need redemption; the truth is that forgiveness is within reach.  When we lay down the need to be in charge, we gain freedom… 

We’ll stay tuned for the next three things tomorrow.

April 17, 2011

Kids on the front line

If anything gets me motivated, it’s when something affects my kids.  And it’s mind-bending to think of my kids on the front line of a spiritual battle, but it’s starting to make sense.  Maybe my form of sticking my head in the sand (oooh, nice, warm sand!) is thinking that God just protects them; I don’t even have to ask.  Oops.

This week, I was made aware of a terrible tragedy involving an 8-year-old student at my son’s school.  It happened 20 years ago, but it still rattled me that it happened in the peaceful, quiet neighborhood in which I live.  Now I pray over the school as I’m walking my son to class in the morning. 

In coming up with a strategy for protecting my kids, I’m stumped on how to begin to talk to them about it.  I want it to be a natural conversation, but I’m mindful that often things that we talk about at home get turned around a little and played back at school, or other inopportune times.  And I don’t want to plant fear where now there’s only trust. 

I guess I start with the basic principles, and I know that God will be faithful to meet me and help me find a way to say needs to be said.  I know He’s faithful to His word.  We’ll reap a harvest of blessing if we sow good seed…

April 16, 2011

Mirror, mirror on the wall

When Neil starts talking about someone he’s known over the years, I brace for impact.  Today’s story, however, was totally sweet.  I could totally picture Claire, couldn’t you?

I’m challenged by today’s entry in two ways.

First, I want to be a Claire.

We have a family friend named Myrene…  To pass her in the grocery store, you probably wouldn’t notice her, unless you looked closely.  She always seems to be smiling, and I’m pretty sure she glows.  I was at a retreat one time where she spoke on Proverbs, and I was blown away by her simple, unassuming, but totally wise teaching.  I walked away a better person for having spent time with this sweet lady, and she continues to inspire me.

I’m reminded of basics like substance over style; inner beauty over outer beauty.  The small things I need to work on are as important as the big issues in my life, and I get lazy.  I’m facing the day with renewed energy to get to work…

And second, I want to see Claire in somebody that I might have missed.  I loved Neil’s description of her:  Claire simply believed what she perceived herself to be, a child of God…she was so positive and caring toward others that everyone loved her.

There’s such a beauty in the confidence that says I know who I am in Christ.  It’s why I’ve chosen this devotional for my project; it’s what I want to share (with a little help from Neil).  My prayer for you (and for myself as well) is that we are just a little bit farther along on that journey today.

April 15, 2011

How’s your hearing?

I got my first pair of glasses when I was six.  The good thing was that I wasn’t old enough to know any better, so I thought they were cool.  In the interest of full disclosure, they were not.

Many years later, I may not be able to see all that well (thank God for whoever invented contacts!), but I do happen to have really, really good hearing.  I joke that it’s my superpower. 

It served me well as a teacher.  On a regular basis, I freaked my students out by asking them about what they were doing out in the hallway, across the room out of my line of sight, or of course, behind my back.  Obviously, I could hear enough to figure out something was going on, but it’s good to keep the kids guessing. 

When I was in college, my dad and I both worked on staff at our church.  My office was a closet-sized space in the basement of a building.  A dozen or so offices were connected by one hallway, and I can remember sitting at my desk, hearing the familiar jangle of keys and pocket change, and know that my dad was coming down the hall.   Mind you, there were any number of men about his age, with presumably the same type of pocket fodder as my dad, but I knew what he sounded like.  Truth be told, I’m a daddy’s girl, and I loved it when he would come to visit.

So I was pondering as I read today’s entry, how well do I know my heavenly Father’s pocket stuff?   Can I hear a voice and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is His? 

Two things come to mind…  First, the better I know Him, the better I will know His voice.  The more time I spend reading the Bible, I’ll know what kinds of things He says.  He’ll even use those very words to speak to me sometimes – our special message system. 

And second, the more I practice at trying to know where a voice is coming from, with prayer (as Neil pointed out), the better I’ll get at it.  Relationships are work; they get better over time.  I’m so thankful that God isn’t going anywhere.  He’s so patient with me until I get it right…

April 14, 2011

Ya might want to come down off that truck…

What a great metaphor for how bullying works.  As a kid, I never understood it – did you?  The girls who tormented me seemed like superhero-movie villains:  all-knowing, all-powerful, and totally influential.  The reality is that they were probably just regular girls who got mean, but no other super powers.  Wish I had known that…

Maybe it was then that I developed my life-long strategy for dealing with bullies:  I fold.  I duck and cover, avoid at all costs, even go to great lengths to minimize any contact.  In general, I’m a reasonably confident person, and I’ve been bewildered at the fact that I seem to snap when I’m around someone with a bullying personality.  Wow!

When it comes to spiritual bullies, I mentioned in an earlier post that I had to overcome fear and panic when I sense that spiritual darkness in someone.  Usually the Holy Spirit is pointing out to me something that’s there.  I was afraid of getting slimed, Ghostbusters-style, by whatever the spiritual yucky thing was… 

I’m so grateful for what Neil points out:  You don’t have to outshout him or outmuscle him to be free of his influence.  You just have to outtruth him. 

The backbone I’m needing to get in touch with isn’t even my own; it’s my Heavenly Father’s, and He’s pretty big.  Plus, it’s kind of boring up on top of the truck…

April 13, 2011

Stuck

Could it be that it’s really that simple?  The areas of my life where I’m stuck and can’t seem to gain any ground are places where I’ve been listening to lies?  Sure, it makes sense when you type out and all, but that’s the whole point of deception, right – that it’s not obvious?

We were talking about the movie What About Bob today, and about people who on the surface are asking for help, but in reality, they are looking for an excuse to stay the way they are.  Funny movie, by the way, but you have to root for Bob if you’re going to enjoy the movie.

Back to the point…  Sometimes, the reason we see things in other people is that we have a little of that quality, good or bad, in our own lives, right?  Maybe I’m a little bit Bob…

My prayer for today is that I would have the humility to see where I need to change, and be motivated to do what the Holy Spirit tells me.  I don’t want to be stuck.

April 12, 2011

Stand firm and be alert

First, a little history…  My husband and I went to a Neil Anderson seminar about 15 years ago, when lots of deliverance ministries were the thing.  If you’re not familiar with these, they entail teaching on spiritual warfare and delivering Christians from spiritual bondage.  The church I grew up in had one, and my parents were part of it; although I never went through it, I heard lots about it.

Neil’s books were foundational in that ministry, as well as numbers of others.  What was refreshing about Neil’s seminar was his approach:  he was matter-of-fact, balanced, and spoke the truth without weirdness (I think that’s scriptural, I have to look it up). 

If it seems that we are circling around the barn again, just a reminder – we’re getting foundational truths in bite-sized chunks. 

For today, a reminder:  I’m susceptible to being wounded or trapped by Satan, and when I forget that, I’m all the more vulnerable.  I don’t need to live in fear, but I do need to be looking for the spiritual dynamics behind the circumstances and people I deal with.  

April 11, 2011

Back to the question of mental illness vs. demonic activity… 

The part that made me smile was this:  Research based on the scientific method of investigation of human spiritual problems is not wrong; it’s just incomplete.  It ignores the reality of the spiritual world because neither God nor the devil submit to our methods of investigation.

Yeah, probably they object to the probes and stuff…

It reminds me that sharing Christ isn’t an intellectual exercise.  Usually, people who want to debate about God and science are looking for an excuse not to believe.  I’m reminded that it’s the Holy Spirit working in a soft heart that does the job, not an excellent argument. 

I’m also reminded to ask God to sharpen my discernment, whether I’m dealing with someone who may or may not have mental illness, or someone who may or may not have a soft heart.  God is at work to heal people and bring them to Himself – may I be about that work today.

April 10, 2011

Oh…  Now I get it…

About seven years ago, we were the victims of identity theft.  We didn’t know it had happened until an old credit account cancelled us due to a drop in our credit rating.  Still, we had no idea the extent to which things had gone…

The credit card on which the fraud had happened never contacted us.  Our first contact was from a collections agency. 

Over the next several months, the calls would go like this:  a nice person would call saying they had some information for us on our file, and would spend some time going over the details, few as they were.  Then at some point, they would mention that they wanted us to set up a payment schedule.  Eventually, they would become mean, misrepresent the facts, and one even accused me of making these charges and lying about it to my husband.  They exploited the fact that we didn’t know our rights.

It was very disorienting; we would think a caller was someone on our side, only to realize that they were quite the opposite.  They did not care about our situation, but were manipulating us in order to get us to pay a debt that was not ours to begin with.

We were blindsided – we ended up fighting a battle that we knew nothing about.  Learning the rules was a painful, exhausting process, and in the end, it was only the grace of God that prevailed in getting the debt erased.

While it’s not a big leap for me to compare credit/collections agency representatives to demonic representatives, understanding what we're up against makes all the difference.  The world is going to make a lot more sense if I understand where the battles are, and how to fight them.

Also, I need to be reminded to gear up spiritually each day.

A final word:  Be strong with the Lord’s mighty power.  Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm…  Ephesians 6:10-11

April 9, 2011

Follow the peace

After several years of marriage, my husband and I began carpooling to work together.  I’m really not a Nervous Nelly, but I was surprised at how used to being the one behind the wheel I was!  Loren is a good driver, but I had many, many adrenaline-filled moments until we worked it all out. 

What was my issue?  I wasn’t the one in control. 

When we talked about temptation (February 6^th), we determined that it’s all about who we are looking to in order to meet our legitimate needs.  We can depend on God to meet them (good), or we can try to meet them ourselves (bad). 

Today, I was pondering the fact that it seems like much of the anxiety I feel is when I am trying to fix, or control, what is not mine to fix. 

The events of my morning were out of control, and I chuckled as I read about the peace I was lacking today.  In the big picture, I have that peace, but when a crisis arises, my default is to try to fix things on my own.  My stress comes from the fact that I’m trying to control the situation, to whatever extent I can.

It doesn’t work, in case you were wondering.

When Neil started out talking about how it’s common for people to rely on a sense of peace as the Holy Spirit’s voice, I was prepared to take a beating…  To my surprise, he went with it!  (Then I re-read the verse at the top; I should have known.)

I find myself asking what the things I look to for comfort and escape are.  I’ve got the big questions answered, but I know I need to be faithful in the small things as well.  I’m so grateful for His patience with me, His willingness to help me break old patterns, and mostly, for the peace that blows my mind when I give Him all my cares.

April 8, 2011

Think long and hard about what you’ve done…

Does God put us on time-out?  He never leaves us; does He go in the other room for a while? 

It can be argued that He doesn’t need to punish us when we willfully disobey, He just lets us suffer the consequences, and that’s enough.  The principle of sowing and reaping is woven into the fabric of the universe.  Usually what we feel like is punishment from God is the absence of close contact with Him, and the presence of uncomfortable situations in our lives because of our choices.

By His great grace, He redeems our mistakes.  He takes even the painful consequences and brings joy and beauty back to our lives through them.  I’m so blown away by that!

I’m also so very glad to live on this side of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.  Already today, I’ve been in such need of His comfort and grace.  I’m so grateful for the Holy Spirit in my life, and the assurance that He will never leave me.  

April 7, 2011

In life, there are a lot of goalies

For me, the breakdown often happens when I’m focused on a task.  I become angry because, as Neil says, someone is blocking my goal – not having been a soccer player, the verbage that works better for me are tasks vs. people.

I’ve had too many moments lately in which I’ve reacted out of my own frustration to my kids, when what I should be doing is looking to understand and motivate them. 

It’s a little like the axiom, if I take care of my character, God will take care of my career…  If I take care of myself – do my very best to be the best wife and mommy I can, and be patient with my family and myself – God will take care of the results. 

As I said yesterday, yup, I have work to do…

April 6, 2011

It’s for the kids…

As I read today’s entry, my mind was spinning, thinking about all the ways we as adults need to better care for the kids around us – all of them, not just ours.  We need to notice the quiet ones; we need to encourage the timid ones.  In our homes with our own kids, we need to teach them what God thinks about them so they don’t grow up with these identity struggles.

And then I got to the last sentence:  If you are going to help your child realize his identity and acceptance in Christ, you must lead the way by doing so in your own life. 

We reproduce what we are, not what we say, right?  It hit me pretty hard today.  I’m realizing that while I excuse myself for not working very hard to maintain a good self-image, I am not just hurting myself.  I want to set them up to base their identity on what God says about them… 

Yup, I have work to do.

April 5, 2011

More on God’s will

On the topic of jobs and promotions, years ago I heard this:  If I take care of my character, I can trust God to take care of my career. 

It made sense to me – sure, I need to look at the big picture now and then, but if I neglect the small things, the big things will never happen.

I’ve got this idea that while, of course, God has a plan for me, He isn’t as concerned with what I do for a living as He is with how I do it.  I could become a doctor or a missionary or the President, and He wouldn’t be impressed.  He would be concerned with what kind of doctor, missionary, or President I was…

So it’s okay to dream, but really, it’s all about living in the moment.  God will use me if I’m walking close with him, no matter how insignificant I am.  May I have the courage to live out His will in the small things today…

April 4, 2011

Fear vs. compassion

Admit it – we all get a little creeped out when folks start talking about hearing voices.  Reading about it is uncomfortable, right?  (insert movie clip:  The Exorcist)

For a minute, though, I have to take a step back and realize that these things happen, probably more often than we’d like to think.  These are real people with a real problem, and they are hurting.  Compassion has to trump squeamishness. 

I totally appreciate the calm, loving way in which Neil deals with these folks.  There’s no crisis; there’s no power struggle.  It’s simply a matter of putting it all into perspective:  the real authority is Christ, and the rest all gets sorted out accordingly.  It really is that simple.

There have been a few people in my life who, although I never asked them directly, I believe suffered from what Neil calls spiritual problems.  Looking back to the first one, my instinct was to run, and run far.  Eventually, though, I learned to gear up (pray a lot), keep my focus in the moment, and not be afraid. 

I was learning to stand up to a bully.  The woman was actually trying to intimidate and manipulate me, and I can see now that this is the strategy of the enemy – to make someone live in fear who has every reason not to fear. 

When fear wins out over compassion, I’m not living the way Christ intended.  My job is keep pointing someone back to the truth.

April 3, 2011

Practice

I couldn’t wait to get my driver’s license.  My bicycle was my primary means of transportation, combined with rides bummed off my brother (who was not all that happy to comply); a license represented freedom.  My homebound days were numbered. 

I’m imagining someone opening 15-year-old me’s wallet, pulling out a driver’s license with my name and picture on it, and saying, Gee, it was here the whole time!  Obviously, not a perfect illustration – I didn’t know how to actually drive a car – but the anticipation part works.

I’ve known Christians over the years who had a resigned attitude of, Well, this is the best it gets this side of heaven – I’m just waiting until then…  Wow – talk about missing the point!  From what Neil’s showing us, this life is practice for the next part!  Maybe we are learning how to drive the car, after all.

May I be quick to see today’s struggles as strength training for eternity.

April 2, 2011

It was Jiminy

Thinking about the difference between conscience and the Holy Spirit, I was struck by what Neil had to say about conscience:  It is always true to its own standard. 

I never thought about it, but it’s an even more important issue than whether someone violates their conscience, because over time, the baseline for right and wrong changes.  If I lie about insignificant things, in time, I’ll think it’s no big deal to lie about something big.  After all, I’ve had lots of practice… 

Matters of conscience are different for everyone.  We were programmed by the world, and as with everything else, our conscience reflects the heart of God the more we’re in His word and listening to His voice. 

Personally, the issue is not that I look for all the ways in which I’m not bothered by the small stuff.  It needs to be all about how sensitive I am to those whispers from the Holy Spirit.

And by the way, I’m pretty sure the opening quote was from Jiminy Cricket.

April 1, 2011

A bit of  my story

My brother and I were adopted as infants, raised by loving parents.  I can’t ever remember having a big talk in which we found out; it was something we always knew, something we talked about, something that made us special.

Here’s how my parents explained it to us…  Our birth mothers loved us enough to give us up (what a hard thing!).  They were making sure we were cared for in a family who wanted us. 

Our mom and dad loved us before they ever met us.  They sought us out, went to great lengths to get us, and from the moment they saw us, we were theirs.  They used our story to illustrate the way God the Father loved us, came to get us before we even knew Him, and are adopted into His family.  What a sweet example!

It helps me in terms of thinking about my place in God’s family now, too.  Growing up, I never felt like I had to do anything to earn a place in the family; I knew I wasn’t just an addition, I was a daughter. 

Our place in God’s family is just as special, just as important, just as secure.  God’s love isn’t based on who I am, it’s based on who He is, and that will never change.  I think I needed to be reminded of that today.

Actually, the verse at the top is on my list of favorites, especially this part: 

…we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him just as He is…  (1 John 3:2)