Independence
Several years back, a couple we were friends with was talking about a really hard time they had gone through in their marriage. What the wife said really surprised me – she said that because she didn’t know where things would end up (whether the marriage would stay intact), she started to take steps towards being able to live on her own and be okay. She was speaking mostly about finances and logistics with her kids, but she also admitted that she was pulling away from her husband, too.
Thankfully, they worked things through, and now have a healthy, solid marriage.
Neil has this to say: It is this learned independence that makes the flesh hostile toward God.
As I thought of my friends, I could imagine the tension building as she planned for the possibility of being on her own. The act of moving towards independence fed the wrong thing in her. It wasn’t until she made a fresh commitment to stay in the marriage that her heart was turned back towards her husband.
My predisposition is to live independently of God; when I give in to those impulses, I’m sabotaging my relationship with Him. When I live as if I don’t need God, it’s more than the fact that I’m not doing my best for Him, or living in His fullest blessing. I’m inflicting injury on the bond we have.
Like my friend, I can’t live with one foot out the door. Marriage is a great illustration of our relationship with God… If I’m living in the same house as my husband but don’t talk to him very often or check in with him regarding plans, much less have those heart-to-heart talks, it’s not a healthy marriage.
Thankfully, Neil leaves us with this: Be aware that you no longer have to obey that preprogrammed bent to live independently of God. You are a child of God, and you are free to put to death those fleshly deeds and obey Christ.
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