Not fair
Forgiving… It’s so unfair. I wasn’t the one who was wrong, but I get stuck with the consequences… The first time I read today’s entry, it was such a revelation. There it was in black and white – yup, not fair. Yup, I need to choose to be okay with it. More to the point, because of the cross, I get to choose to be okay with it.
When Jesus tells the story of the unforgiving servant, I see myself… This dude owed more money than you could shake a stick at (they did have sticks back then…), and when he was on the doorstep of the prison (figuratively), the king calls him back and forgives him. Debt cancelled. Was it fair? No. The king chose to take the loss. Not fair, but merciful.
It really helps me to put it into those terms. There are times the person who hurt me won’t ever say they are sorry, and for some reason, that seems to add to the tab. I love that Neil tells us to get in touch with the feelings that are there – it sounds very EHS*, doesn’t it? It’s the equivalent of cleaning out the infection in order for the wound to heal – sorry for the yucky analogy. I’m probably grossed out more than you are.
Forgiveness deals with me, not what the other person did to me. Having someone hurt me makes me feel powerless, but I don’t have to stay that way. I can make the choice to take the loss, pay they owe me, and live as a healthy person.
Thank you, Jesus, for showing me how.
*EHS = Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Pete Scazzero – we did a series on this at church a couple of years ago
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