Why can't it just be about the kids and the candy?

Let’s face it – it’s been a few years since the movies at the top of today’s reading were in the theaters (but Ghostbusters – really?).  But as I was wincing over that fact, wondering if the point was outdated, a radio commercial for one of the top-grossing movies of the weekend came back to me.  I think it’s called Paranormal Activity, and yup, we’re still marketing spirit guides to kids.

Most people I know who are into horror flicks (I’m not) are pretty jaded, not very likely to take what they see as a good idea.  The irony is that there are spiritual truths involved, and probably the goal is to see who will go exploring in those woods, so to speak, and become entangled.

My kids are too young to understand why I’m not very crazy about the witches they make from construction paper as a class art project, or the little ghosts, etc.  I know better than to make them forbidden, though.  All things taboo must be explored by any self-respecting kid, right?  So I’m finding creative ways to explain that while some people like being scared and that’s how they do Halloween, it’s not how we do it.

At some point, probably about a year from now, I’ll need to frame more direct answers with more truth about spiritual things.  I’m glad for the reminder that I need to be diligent, and teach my kids some tough things.  I’ll be ready.

Forgiven

What a black-and-white picture of how God’s forgiveness transforms us:  no longer a prostitute, but a queen.  Neil’s question is profound:  Why would you want to live as a prostitute if you were a queen?

God knows my past; He knows all my failures and weaknesses.  He knows I don’t deserve His grace.  I don’t deserve to be a queen.  Our enemy loves to get us sidetracked and distracted by pointing this out, as if, despite all God has done for us, because we didn’t deserve it, it’s not really ours.

Thankfully, what He did wasn’t because of who I am (although He loved me before I loved Him), but because of who He is.  Therefore, I never have to earn my position.   It’s who I am, not what I do. 

I know this is familiar territory; we’ve covered this very subject in detail months ago.  I’m challenged today, though, as I see it in a new light, and am motivated to make sure I’m really getting the truth into the core of who I am.  Once that happens, I’m not easily lied to by the enemy; I am free to represent Christ and His kingdom.

 

Working the steps

Wow – what a comprehensive list from Neil today!  Instead of blogging about it, today I’m going to take this list and do the steps.  (I won’t be posting it.)

The points that really hit me were #2:  If you are going to forgive from your heart, you must let God search the depths of your heart…  and #3:  Acknowledge the significance of the cross.

I look forward to step #10:  In time you will be able to think about the people who offended you without feeling hurt or anger.

If you’re joining me today in doing these steps, I’ll be praying for you…

Reaping and sowing

I wrote yesterday about the fact that God has ingrained in us a sense of justice – it only makes sense, since He is holy and just, that we would have that within us. 

And yet forgiveness seems to be in opposition to fairness; it seems that we are not holding someone accountable when they do what’s wrong if we forgive them. 

I appreciated what Neil says today:  Yes, you are letting them off your hook, realizing that they are not off God’s hook. 

One of the principles God wove into the universe when He created it is that of sowing and reaping: 

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man [person] sows, that he will also reap.  Galatians 6:7

The principle of reaping and sowing has been of great comfort to me over the years.  I’d love to say that I’m really mature and I wish only the best for all of the people who have hurt me.  In a few cases, though, I’m comforted by the fact that even though all seems great in their lives, God will see to it that they reap what they’ve sown.  I'm also reminded to pay close attention to what I'm sowing.

When I choose to forgive, I’m saying, God, I trust you to keep track of this, and make things right, in Your way and in Your time.  I’m choosing to rely on You instead of taking things into my own hands.  I guess when it comes right down to it, it’s like anything else – am I going to let God have His way, or insist on mine? 

The forgiveness card

I was pondering forgiveness this morning, reading Neil’s entry for the day.  I was thinking about how when someone as hurt me, it feels like they hold some power over me.  It feels as if the only way to be free from that helplessness and pain would be for that person to stop doing whatever it is, acknowledge the pain and suffering they’ve caused, and apologize.

Part of the strategy of the enemy is to appeal to our sense of justice:  it’s only fair that the offender make things right!  And yet, here is the problem – my freedom is based on what someone else may or may not be willing to do. 

The balance of power shifts when I realize that I have the ability to play the forgiveness card.  Suddenly, it’s up to me as to whether or not I live in helplessness and pain.  When I choose to forgive, I’m released from it.

It’s an awesome reminder this morning that the way God relates to us is from a starting point of forgiveness; it’s who He is, and it’s what He is making us to be.  Thanks, Neil, for the reminders today.  I needed them.

Three things

Today’s reading was one that made me really think.  There were three things that blew my mind.

First:  …you have the privilege of evaluating your past experience in the light of who you are now, as opposed to who you were then.

It’s amazing how in an instant, I’m transformed back to my past – I become the shy, insecure girl I was when that bully picked on me when I’m faced with someone who’s really aggressive.  It takes a conscious effort to pull myself back to the present and deal with the situation.  You know, like a grown-up.  That’s the advantage.

Second:  When a present event activates that primary emotion, many people believe what they feel instead of believing what is true.

Seems so obvious, but when I’m the one in the hot seat, I forget this!  I need to be reminded – just the facts, ma’am. 

And third: Christ is in your life right now desiring to set you free from your past.

He’s an active agent at work in me, and it’s not all up to me and my fabulous willpower (or not) to get my act together.  He’s transforming me, and He desires for me to be healed and mature.  Today, that meant the most – I’m not in it alone.

Bringing things into the light

Wow – Neil sees some pretty extreme stuff in his line of work.  My thought after reading today’s entry is, Please tell me that if I ask God to search my heart, He won’t bring to light that I’ve been abused like that! 

So I took a step back, and asked, if we slide down the scale of emotional trauma from 10 to say, 3 or 4 – stuff we’ve all been through, but still hurts – does what Neil says here still apply?

First, God will bring things to light in just the right time, when we’re ready to deal with them.  His purpose is to heal, no matter the size of the hurt.  So far, so good.

A step forward in the process is to ask God where those blind spots are, the ones that send us into orbit.  He’ll show us the things we may have forgotten about that still give us trouble.  Yup, I think we’re good.

So today, I’m asking God to show me where I keep the emotional baggage that has yet to be unpacked.  I’m sure it’s around here somewhere…

The past can hurt

I’m thinking of a movie clip from the Lion King… 

Rafiki the monkey takes his staff and smacks Simba on the head.  “Ow!  Geez!  What was that for?” he asks.  “It does not matter, it’s in the past,” returns Rafiki. 

Simba says, “Yeah, but it still hurts.”  Rafiki replies, “Yes, the past can hurt.  But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” 

The next time Rafiki swings his staff, Simba ducks.  Then he takes away Rafiki’s staff.

If I’m reading Neil right, my past hurts me in the present, all the more if I don’t stop to deal with it.  If I don’t, my emotional responses (and probably, my choices) will always be the same, tainted by whatever hurt me.  I’ll do things that aren’t good for me and won’t understand why I can’t break out of that cycle. 

How do we deal with those things?  Neil wrote today about talking it through and becoming more aware of what’s going on inside during those moments.  I’ll work on practicing that, and maybe tomorrow we’ll get a bit more instruction.

Baggage check

Did you have a record player when you were a kid?  I did – the case mine came in (it was portable) was two-toned blue plastic.  It used to be my brother’s, and he gave it to me for a birthday gift.  It didn’t matter that it was a hand-me-down.  It was be best thing I’d ever been given.

As careful as I was with my records – I think I owned two – it wasn’t long before I found out what happens when you bump a record player while it’s playing.  It’s a funny zipping sound:  not good.

Forever after, when the needle on that plastic arm gets to that point, the needle will skip along that groove to wherever it ended.  There’s no going back.

When I read today’s entry, something clicked for me, in terms of emotional baggage.  Instead of being frustrated with my lack of ability to control my reaction to something, I need to recognize it for what it is:  hard-wired into my emotional self.  For the time being, anyway. 

I’m looking forward to hearing what Neil has to say in the next few days; for now, though, I’m going to ask God to show me where my scratches are.

More on rock 'n' roll

If you’re a regular reader, you might remember a day not too long ago spent on this very topic.  In case you missed it, it was August 22^nd:  Neil vs. rock ‘n’ roll. 

Instead of dwelling on the negative, today I was thinking about the beauty and power of music – it’s a gift from God!  He designed music to connect with us at a deep level.  I’m guessing He gets as much enjoyment out of it as we do.

Every once in a while, I think about how long humans have been writing songs…  Every one is unique, every one an expression of that person who wrote it.  And we haven’t run out of melodies or lyrics yet!  How did God come up with something so amazingly complex, yet so universal? 

God could have created the world in any way He wanted.  He didn’t have to paint the mountains different colors in the fog, or at sunset; He didn’t have to make a masterpiece in the sky every time clouds roll in.  There’s so much beauty in what He created, and it’s all there to make us go looking for Him.  Every piece of music may not be spiritual, but to me, if it’s beautiful, it points to the creator and brings joy.

Staying soft (and painful)

Reading this morning’s entry from Neil, I’m thinking about two people…

Job’s dark time makes anything we may experience pretty much pale in comparison.  His friends (and I’m using that term loosely) only added to his misery.  Once we’ve experience a dark time ourselves, Neil says:  We don’t try to teach or instruct or advise.  I’ve noticed that the worse the stuff I’ve been through, the less I have to say to someone who’s going through it now, and the more I have an instinct to just be there and listen.  Job’s friends apparently hadn’t crossed that threshold. 

David’s early years are pretty much a story of a life poured out.  He was being hunted by Saul, was living in caves, and every hope for a normal life, let alone the one God had promised, had been crushed out of him. 

God didn’t send those trials to David because he deserved them; He wasn’t punishing David, nor had He changed His mind about David eventually being king.  Through them, though, God worked compassion and brokenness into David’s heart.  It happened because David chose to hurt instead of harden to bitterness.

I’m tempted, even today, to let the things that hurt make a spot on my heart glaze over and harden, instead of staying soft (and painful).  I think I needed to hear again these words from Neil:  Perhaps God brings us to the end of our resources so we can discover the vastness of His. 

There are things I don’t know what to do with that I’m turning over to Him today.

You're who, now?

I have a friend who says this:  I am who God says I am.  (Hey there, friend!)  Simple, but oh-so-profound.

Tonight was open house at our kids’ school, and I found myself in a social environment in which I am waaay uncomfortable:  a (noisy) room full of people I barely know, but must be friendly with.  For 45 minutes.  I’m getting better at it, but it’s situations like these that take me back to my awkward days.  You know, the ones that are still going… 

Why am I so ill at ease?  I think it’s because I forget to quit looking around at all of them and how I fit in.  I forget to still myself inside instead, to be at peace with God in me and who I am in Him. 

They say that confidence goes a long way toward making a good impression, and over the years, I’ve learned to fake confidence like there’s no tomorrow.  My real confidence, though, doesn’t need to be faked – He is steady and secure, and will always be there.  And I am who He says I am.

False spirituality

I watch a tv show called The Mentalist, and while I know it’s fiction, there are elements of truth.  It’s enlightened me on the ways in which spiritualists and mediums prey on people.  Fortune telling places have always creeped me out, so it’s a good thing to have an understanding of what goes on there. 

In my naive mind, Christians would never consult those people!  But then I’m amazed at friends or acquaintances who read their horoscopes, or indulge in other (seemingly) harmless things. 

It comes down to this:  we want to know what comes next; we want to know what’s beyond what we can see.  It’s a hunger God put there so we would come looking for Him!  The enemy, of course, gives an alternate way to meet a legitimate need, but it’s a counterfeit.

Lest I take pride in the fact that I would never go there, I need to acknowledge that I’m no stronger than the next guy.  It could happen to me.  I need to have compassion on folks who get into falsely spiritual things, and know the dynamics at work.  Mostly, I need to focus on truth, and on staying close to God.

Peace

I don’t usually go off topic, but I think I’ll bring this one back around if you’ll stay with me… 

Five years ago, an Israeli soldier was captured by the Palestinians.  He was finally released a short time ago, in a prisoner swap.  He was traded for 1,000 Palestinian prisoners, many of whom had carried out terrorist attacks on Israeli soil.

The question, of course, is, why?  What does it mean that one life is worth 1,000 others?  It got me thinking – who would trade a life, anyway?  What is it worth?

It made me think of Jesus, who stepped into my place and took my punishment.  He gave His life so I could have mine back.  I know it’s not an exact analogy, but it’s not every day I start thinking about the value of a single life.

Jesus traded places with me so I could have peace with God; I carry that peace around with me, and it touches every part of my life.  I’m so grateful.

Voices

Does God talk to us about little, insignificant things?  It’s a question I’ve pondered over the years. 

I’ve had friends who, in conversation, mentioned that God weighed in on some (to my thinking) pretty insignificant things, which left me wondering:  was it really God who was speaking to them?  Why would He talk to you about your laundry (or whatever the topic happened to be)?

What’s the purpose of God speaking to us?  There are many, to be sure.  And I do believe that God wants the kind of intimate friendship where I can talk to Him about anything.  I’m on the fence about how and when He talks back, I guess.

And how do we know we’re hearing the voice of God?  There have been moments when I’ve been so eager to hear from Him that, in speaking to Him what I wanted to hear, I blurred the lines of who was saying what.  Was that God, or my wishful thinking?  And that’s not even taking into account the possibility that it could have been deceptive voices.

I’m sorry to say, I don’t have answers for you today.  I do find, though, that the longer I walk with Christ, the less desperate I am to have Him talk to me – I just enjoy His company.  When I do hear from Him, it’s icing on the cake. 

Relationship

Thinking about how God designed our us for relationship with Him never fails to leave me awestruck. 

In my own little head, I’ve come to the conclusion that every relationship here on earth is a picture of some aspect of our relationship with God – practice, if you will. 

As kids, we learn to know God as Father based on (or in spite of) our family dynamic.  We learn to love and receive love unconditionally, and to trust a God who is big enough to have a plan for what’s best.  We learn about discipline and forgiveness.

A transition comes somewhere along the line where we understand God as our friend.  Friendships, especially in childhood and the teen years, are complicated (at least, in my experience), and yet they deal with some of the same matters of love and forgiveness. 

The most intimate relationship is that of husband and wife; I’m currently reading Revelation, which refers to the church as the bride of Christ, talking about love and relationship in those terms.  It’s mind-blowing to think of the intimacy of marriage as a picture of how close God made us to be with Him, but if you’re looking for it as you read His word, it’s there. 

If you want more, check out a book by Gene Edwards called The Divine Romance.  He’s the author who wrote one of my favorites, A Tale of Three Kings, which is also a great read (and a short one, at that). 

No husband or wife likes to be taken for granted; today, I want my heart to be tender toward God, remembering that He deserves all my love and devotion. 

Keep it real

Reality TV – are you a fan?  I’ll confess, I’m not.  I’m not a TV snob, it’s just that the little bits I’ve seen are anything but reality.  Drama!  Suspenseful music!  Cheesy plot twists!  Also, it’s possible that there’s a good show out there, and I’ve missed it.  Apologies, if that’s the case.

When we become Christians, particularly when we begin coming to church and hanging around Christians, there’s pressure to fit in to the new culture:  that of seasoned believers. How do we learn to pray?  By listening to other people pray, mostly.  How do we learn to talk about spiritual things?  By hearing what other believers have to say, and taking on that language.

I don’t think we meant to be fake, but over time, we rely on that frame of reference, instead of digging deeper and learning stuff on our own.  That’s when, I believe, people start getting attached to the trappings of spirituality and forget to grow.

I appreciated this from Neil today:  Paradoxically, the ones who have a real Christian experience are the ones who are free to change their Christian practices. 

I’m thinking of it this way:  if I’m so hungry for more of God, I’ll do anything to keep close with Him.  New songs?  Bring ‘em on.  Crazy ideas for Sunday morning services?  Yes, please.  Stretching beyond where I’m comfortable so unbelievers can hear about Christ?  That’s what it’s all about!

For as open-minded as I think I might be, there are always sticking points, where my pride or laziness rear up, and I get an attitude.  Today, I’m asking God to show me where those are, and help me dismantle them.

We trust what we know

We’re back to the principle of faith today – I’ll refresh your memory:  my faith is strong, not because of my effort or ability to have faith, but because the one I’m putting my faith in (God) is trustworthy.  That’s pretty cool, by the way.

So how do I grow in my faith?  God is constant, so why isn’t my faith perfect at the moment I receive Jesus as my Savior?  It comes down to this:  I can only trust to the extent that I understand or know God.  Because He is perfect, the more I know Him, the easier it is for me to trust Him.

Something I read today (was it on FB?) said that only 9% of Christians have a daily experience with God’s word.  Can that be true?  Whether it is or not, I don’t want to be in the majority on that one…  Whether it’s a half-hour or a good five minutes, my time in God’s word each day deepens my understanding, and that deepens my faith.

Thrones and invisibility cloaks

Much of the time, I think in pictures. 

Today’s narrative started off with a throne made of gold, a crown and a scepter – also of gold – that God set Adam on in the garden (metaphorically, of course).  Adam had no idea what was at stake when the serpent slithered up.  “Come down here and taste this!  Yummy!”  And in that moment, Adam stepped down, never to sit in his rightful place again.

Jesus’ death and resurrection marked the beginning of an uprising against the pretender to the throne.  Think video games (but forgive me if I get it wrong – I’m not a gamer) – your guy dies, but you come back as someone more powerful, with special shields and invisibility cloaks, and a sword that defeats any other weapon.  You just have to figure out how to use the power you’ve been given.  And some day, the true King will come back and set everything right…

For some reason, I have the urge to dig out The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe… 

I hope my mental process hasn’t made it seem like I don’t take these things lightly – it’s the opposite.  For me to really get it, I have to picture it.  Today, I’m going to be thinking about the realities of who runs this world, and my place in it.

Chewing

It’s not enough to maintain; I need to advance.  I forget that some days.  I forget that I’m part of the armies of God, and that I’m tasked with taking the light to dark places.

It’s easy to be self-focused; it’s easy to get distracted by my own problems.  And clearly, it’s a ploy of the enemy to keep me from lifting my eyes and seeing where I’m needed in the world around me.

Thanks, Neil, for today’s reminder:  I’m getting myself in order so I can stop looking at myself.  That’s what I’ll chew on today…

Cheese

I made breakfast burritos for my kids this morning.  Here's the process:  I scramble the eggs, add cheese, let it all cool down (ALL FOOD MUST BE COLD!), then warm the tortillas and wrap it all up.  Then let it cool down some more, since the tortilla was warm.

As I was throwing cheese on the almost-done eggs, I started feeling sorry for the cheese that fell off the sides of the eggs.  I knew my kids would never eat it; it would get left in the pan. 

It made me slow down just a little, and focus more on getting the cheese just in the right spots.  And as I did, I had this thought:  how much of what I do here on earth is like the cheese in the pan?  It’s going to get stuck here, and it won’t matter – it’s wasted effort.

Only what I do for God gets on the eggs (if you’ll bear with my metaphor).  Today, I’m going to slow down a bit, and work at improving my aim.

The game-changer

What an interesting idea…  In looking at how we measure our worth, Neil splits up our service and our character.  I suppose it makes sense – God doesn’t give us points for service (bonus points if you’re a missionary) on some kind of sliding scale.  If we want to be busy doing something, that something should be working on our character, which, for some reason, is a lot harder than just doing good stuff. 

Was Neil saying, then, that God will value us more if we have a more mature character?  I thought so on the first reading, but on the second time around, I think he’s talking about the fact that a more Christ-like character makes us more fruitful and more useful, both things we should want.

The part that really spoke to me, though, in today’s reading, was this:  [my paraphrase of Neil]  If I really believed I am who God says I am, what difference does that make in my life?  Am I more confident, more secure?  What will I have the courage to go out and do?  It’s a game-changer, really. 

For as much as I thought I had some of this stuff down pretty well, I see again that I’ve got so far to go.  But I’m inspired today to keep trying…

Stuff

My boys are big into Legos these days.  And darn it, they come with instructions that are all fine and good until the last few pages, where they show you all the other wonderful Lego sets you don’t have. 

So it goes like this:  I love, love, love my new set – I’m building, building, building – hey!  I’m done!  I’m so happ-Wait!  Look!  There’s stuff I don’t have!  Mommy, I need this one!  And this one.  And I like this one best of all…

As I’ve said before, having kids is like seeing human nature, but exaggerated, and very dramatic. 

For some people, the temptation of stuff is wanting to be That Guy – the one with the cool boat, the cool motorcycle, whatever – more toys than the Next Guy.  For others, it probably has to do with meeting a need that has nothing to do with whatever is in the shopping cart:  the retail equivalent of comfort eating.  And maybe some folks just don’t have good discipline; they see, they want, they buy.

I’ve fallen into the last two categories most often.  I’m satisfied with never being the Girl With The Most Toys (or biggest house, best dressed kids, etc.).  I am thankful for what I hav-Hey!  Is that a new Nordicware cake pan?  Darn!

The application for me is spending less time in the store, and more time using what I have.  When I’m blue, a cup of tea will go just as far as a shopping excursion.  A cup of tea in a teacup I already have, that is… 

Put the lighter fluid away, please

To write about today’s entry, I’ll set aside the framework of the first two paragraphs.  We’re not in the ‘50’s anymore, but I’ll spare you the rant.  Suffice it to say, unloading emotionally on your husband or wife because you’ve had a bad day is, well, bad.

My husband and I have learned over the years to recognize when a conversation is emotionally charged – beyond what seems obvious – and how to gently ask that question without squirting lighter fluid on the glowing embers.  It helps that we’ve both agreed to this arrangement, and we’ve decided not to get even more defensive at those comments.

We’ve seen emotions escalate in different ways.  Sometimes, we’re mad at one person, but take it out on someone else.  I especially have to watch my words to my kids very carefully when I’m grappling with an emotional situation. 

Other times, something has tripped a switch inside, and the reaction is much bigger than should be warranted.  Those are harder to sort out, but oh-so-helpful when we do.  For example, I’m way angrier than I should be at a small comment because of the giant history I have with someone else who manipulated me in that very fashion.  But that’s a bigger bill than the current offender should have to pay.  I think the current term for that stuff is baggage. 

In any case, the trick for us is to make the person who’s in a bad way emotionally to feel loved and supported, instead of attacked.  Maybe we’ll get it down in another 19 years of marriage…

Being there

So the most important part in being there for someone is, well, being there. 

For some reason, that takes a lot of pressure off of me.  God sent me friends who helped me through some pretty dark times, so I tend to want to be that kind of friend for someone else.  It’s awfully hard to know what to say or do.  The easy thing is to try to do something.  The hard thing is to do nothing, but it’s usually the best thing.

Neil has given me a plan for whenever the next situation arises:  be there, be compassionate (emotionally available to grieve with them), and don’t say much.  I’m on it.

Calling out the good

Have you ever had someone speak something to you that you know came directly from God?  I’m thinking about encouraging words, maybe something somebody noticed about you that perhaps nobody else ever had (maybe even yourself!). 

I can remember a few of those instances – a friend of the family, a teacher, a choir director – someone who called me out for something good, when what I really believed about myself was that I wasn’t worth calling out.  Those people saw potential; they had the eyes of faith to see in me what could be, not what was.  They made me who I am today, and I am so grateful.

It’s with great humility that I read Neil’s words today, because I often find myself focused on correcting my kids, and forget to comment on what they’re doing right.  When I was a kid, there were things I wish I had been noticed for; I want to be the Mommy who notices those things about my kids.  And says so out loud. 

Today, I’m going to look for those opportunities.

How's my hearing?

Yesterday, I wrote that it’s awesome for me when I don’t have to be in charge of something.  Today, I’m thinking along those same lines.

Today’s entry has me thinking that I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about not hearing from God about my life’s direction because I didn’t go to the right revival service, or sit close enough to the front when the speaker was giving personal words. 

Neil says:  False gifts will not consistently promote holiness but often will specify decisions concerning direction in life.  That function is the role of the Holy Spirit alone (Romans 8:14).

On occasion, could He use a word of prophecy to nudge me?  Sure - He can do whatever He wants.  But the main way He speaks to me is what He set up to begin with:  His word and His Spirit. 

So I haven’t missed the boat on that big decision I need to make!  God isn’t hiding from me; He wants to be heard, loud and clear.  I just need to remember to listen in the right places.

The view from the back seat

In my life, I’ve been in charge in a lot of things.  Currently, I’m the boss of three young little ones, and that’s a tall order.  I’ve led week-long class trips for 4^th graders; I’ve coordinated district events at my school when I was a teacher.  I’ve organized and pulled off church-wide events, coordinated weddings, and taught classes.

I’ve come to realize, now, that I enjoy it (immensely) when I don’t have to be in charge of something.  I can just come and participate.  Someone else will come early, unlock and clean up the messes, manage the chaos of the event (whatever it may be), and then stay long afterward to clean it all up and lock up.  I appreciate all that’s involved in leadership, so I appreciate it even more when I get to take a back seat.

I was thinking today as I read Neil’s entry about submission that maybe it’s the same thing.  I’ve never been very good at calling the shots in my own life; it’s a relief to be able to depend on someone else.  And I call myself a control freak! 

If I can get over myself, stay focused on who I am because of what Christ did for me, and live in contentment, submission is not a stretch at all.  It’s the natural outflow of my life as I have things in order. 

Now, if I could just remember that long-term…

Humility and diligence

So, at the end, was Neil saying that everyone with spiritual problems (conflicts, as he puts it) has some type of sexual sin going on?  Or is it that sexual sin almost always leads to spiritual problems? 

Probably he meant the second thing, but I was a little confused.

I also wondered about Neil’s statement:  Sexual lust demands physical expression… 

I’m pondering it because we’ve just spent months covering the fact that once I belong to Christ, because I’m a new being, I have the power to say no to sin.  Maybe he meant that sexual lust pushes towards physical expression - ?  That I would agree with. 

Okay, I don’t want to get all hung up on the wording of today’s entry…  It’s caused me to be reminded of this – I can read about sexual lust and sin and think I’m okay on that score, but in reality I need to maintain humility and be diligent to keep my thoughts pure.  Nobody wakes up one day and says, I’m going to commit sexual sin!  It happens in small degrees.  Today, I’m renewing my resolve, as well as my humility.

Truth changes me

The lies will always be there.  I won’t wake up one day and feel like I’m everything God says I am; the enemy of my soul won’t get tired of throwing defeat and discouragement at me.

The more I choose to believe the truth, the easier that choice becomes, but the point at which I overcome the strategies of darkness is when I make that choice.

I find that as I do, I find contentment.  I don’t have anything to prove; I don’t need to control things in my life.  As I choose truth, my perspective shifts, and my emotions follow suit.  I am changed by the choice I make.

As I wrote yesterday, the truth of God’s word is powerful.  As I choose to believe its truth, I’m not making the change by some act of my will; I’m allowing the Holy Spirit to bring the change He’s wanting to. 

That’s where I want to live today.

Speaking the truth

I was touched by the story of Alyce today.  I know I say that about all Neil’s stories, but the thing that encouraged me especially today was this, from Neil:  The more we talked the more aware I became of Christ’s presence ministering to Alyce.

All Neil did was speak the truth to Alyce, and she was being set free by it! 

I’ve had friends over the years who, at times, have needed to hear truth, and yet as we talked, it felt so futile, as if the words I said had no lasting value.  Can you relate?

I forget that the Word of God is alive and active; I may not see what it’s doing, but it is at work, and it will do exactly what God intends for it to do (Hebrews 4:12).

So I’m encouraged to keep encouraging, to keep speaking the truth.  And I’m going to trust that when I do, Christ’s presence will be there, making an impact, even if I don’t see it.