If you’ve been following Neil’s stuff (and this blog), you’ve heard this before, just a little differently: a goal is something I can accomplish all by myself, but if it involves the cooperation of anyone or anything else, I need to hold it as a desire, or I will be greatly frustrated.
If I derive my self worth from accomplishing my goals, when someone stands in the way of that goal (plays goalie?), my response to them isn’t likely to be very gracious.
When something happens in my life and I feel myself over-reacting, I’m starting to take a look at why that might be, in terms of goals and goalies. More often than not, something that sends me into the stratosphere is a thing I’ve got as a goal (and really, shouldn’t you? It’s such a good goal!), when it needs to be a desire. And when you couple that with an out-of-balance sense of self worth, as in, I’m basing it on whether or not this thing happens, the stakes are even higher.
Neil mentions control and manipulation as ways around people; I’m more prone to defeat, anger and even depression. Any way you slice it, it’s all bad.
So the thing for me today is not only to keep evaluating my responses to see if I’ve got a misplaced goal, it’s to pray for the wisdom to look at the big picture ahead of time, ask the big questions in my life, and let God set the priorities, goals, and desires.
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