Bucking the system

So here’s where it gets personal…  No, I never joined the hippies or protested anything, but my tendency in dealing with rejection is to act preemptively. 

Can’t cope with the popular kids?  Fine.  I’ll make friends with the kids who actually need friends.  Don’t think I’ll make the team?  Fine.  I just won’t try out.  Relationship not working out?  Fine.  I’ll bail before I get a chance to get even more hurt. 

Kind of a passive-aggressive rebel attitude, I guess, but Neil’s point is still valid:  as long as I’m looking to evaluate my worth on what or who is around me, I’m looking in the wrong place.  It’s when my value and identity is found in Christ that I’m secure.

Equal distribution

The poor clarinet player…  High school and rejection just seem to go together, hand-in-hand, don’t they? 

Instead of reliving those experiences, though, today I was remembering reading through the gospels as a high school junior or senior.  I can remember reading what Jesus said to the Pharisees, priests, etc., and thinking to myself, Don’t say that, Jesus!  Then they won’t listen to you!  I was embarrassed for Him.  Even though I knew the end of the story, I didn’t want Jesus to be rejected. 

Jesus knew what we’re learning:  we’ve already got love and acceptance.  We don’t need to go looking for them.  Jesus carried the sense of who He was when He came to earth; I want to carry that same sense of identity with me after I’ve been with my heavenly Father. 

I love this from Neil today:  God has not equally distributed gifts, talents, or intelligence, but He has equally distributed Himself.  Our sense of worth comes from knowing who we are as children of God.

Controllers

On my first reading of today’s entry, I thought, Wow – this is hard core world culture – I’m not sure how to relate!  I don’t know too many people who are the climb-the-ladder-at-any-cost type, although I know they’re out there.  

Reading it again, though I zeroed in on the word:  control.  In my circles, people aren’t cutthroat (they’re mostly nice).  I do, however, run into people who have control issues.  On occasion, I am one of them.

I know we’ve explored control issues on past days, and the conclusion was that insecurity is what drives us to want to control what’s around us.  We’re uncomfortable and fearful because life is unpredictable.

What I’m seeing today is that the thing we fear is, at its core, rejection.  Makes sense, right?  I’d rather have you focus on what I’m doing than on who I am.

Keeping this in mind will help me deal with the worst offenders.  And hopefully, if I really take it to heart, it will help me not be one of them.

Rejection

Let’s all ponder rejection for a bit, shall we?  Good times.  Yet somehow, Neil always seems to give us what we need for healing and transformation from God’s word…

What is it about rejection that makes us take it personally?  A dad (or mom) leaves and a divorce happens, and the kid wonders what he or she did to make them leave.  The job interview doesn’t lead to employment, and we’re left wondering where we’re lacking. 

For today, I’m going to ponder the fact that God doesn’t reject me; He went to great lengths to come and find me, and paid an unthinkable cost to bring me into His family. 

Neil writes that we’re going to learn to handle rejection positively.  Let’s stay tuned…

The lost princess

Since the last time we looked at this issue of mistaken identity, I’ve watched the movie Tangled about a dozen or so times, and love the way it plays out for this analogy.

Rapunzel is a princess who, as a baby, is kidnapped by an evil woman who pretends to be her mother so she can use Rapunzel’s magical powers to stay young forever.  As you might imagine, Rapunzel gets raised by a woman who feigns affection, but her every motive is selfish.  It’s pretty tweaked, poor girl.

Spoiler alert:  the climax of the movie happens when, inevitably, Rapunzel realizes that she is the lost princess.  The power her not-so-very-much mother had over her is broken as Rapunzel pieces together what has happened.

The happily-ever-after is that Rapunzel is reunited with the king and queen, her real family, has a week-long welcome home party, and goes on to rule the kingdom with grace and kindness.  And oh, yeah, she gets the guy.  (Did I mention?  At least 12 times…)

In our world, the father of lies manipulates us and keeps us living a life that’s far below what our true Father ever intended for us.  We may as well be emotionally abused captives in a very tall tower, living in constant fear.

Once we see ourselves as we really are – the princess of the kingdom (or prince, if the shoe fits), transformation is total and permanent. 

Thank you, Neil, for the reminder today.

Scrubbing

Marker pens are hard to get out of kids clothes.  They make washable ones, but those aren’t nearly as fun, for some reason…  Worse than a stain I know I’ll never get out is one that fades just a little each time I scrub on it, giving me hope that someday, if I work hard enough, the stain will be totally gone.  Ha.

When we get saved, God starts the long process of scrubbing out from us the mindset of the world.  We were born into this fallen place, and until God starts His changing work, the mindset of it looks pretty permanent. 

With each scrub, God is removing the stain…  The less there is, the more I see things from His point of view.  Living by wisdom makes for such a great life because we’re in harmony with the universe!  God wove His wisdom into it as He created it. 

I love the language Neil uses:  He has made His will known primarily in His word, and He delights when we humbly submit to it and obey it.

God delights in us!  That’s what I’m going to be chewing on today. 

Plus, I think I’m going to hide the markers…

Dec2

Rights vs. responsibilities

Responsibility isn’t a very popular word.  I feel badly for it!  Some people want to shirk it; others avoid it at any cost.  Some folks begrudgingly fulfill it, but very few people enjoy it. 

And yet, as new creations in Christ, doing the things I’m responsible for not only becomes possible, it becomes something I want to do!  It’s a joy!  Why?  Because I’m doing what I was created to do. 

What are my responsibilities?  Well, being the best wife and mother I can be, serving in the ministries I’ve committed to at church, keeping healthy spiritually and emotionally, loving and serving others to the best of my abilities…  Funny thing, just typing that list brings a smile to my face!

Why?  Because when I get my focus off of myself and what I want or need at the moment and get it back on my real, actual need – to fulfill my responsibilities in life – I become happier!  Focusing on my own complaints never brings sunshine.

Years ago, I attended a seminar called Parenting With Love and Logic, led by a man named Jim Fay.  It was beyond outstanding.  He cited a study that had polled a large number of adults, asking them to rate their level of happiness.  They asked everything about their lives and their childhoods they could think of to find some link to their happiness level, and the one they found was surprising:  the people who were the happiest adults reported being taught (and required) to do chores as kids.

What’s the takeaway?  I was made to fulfill certain responsibilities.  Neil’s subtly bringing us back to the principle that a true goal doesn’t involve other people, just me (being the best mommy I can, vs. wanting to have obedient kids), so nobody can block it.  Blocked goals lead to frustration and hopelessness; I’m happy and I feel significant when I’m doing what I was made to do.

Now if you’ll excuse me, this best-mommy-and-wife-I-can-be needs to go slay the laundry monster…