Have you been there? I have… A devastating loss, a grieving heart, and more questions about God than I could answer… I remember the overwhelming sense that God wasn’t who I thought He was.
And in the questioning, I came to this – the hope I had was broken, not because God was unfaithful, but because my expectations were so high. Faith pleases God, even when it’s coming from a broken heart.
In my fog, I decided to reserve judgment. I wasn’t thinking at all about David and Psalm 43, but I was driving to work, and a song was playing on the CD in my car that reached into my brokenness. I made a choice. I set aside my anger and hurt, and just sang. Well, sang and cried. I don’t know how, but healing started in that moment.
The end of the story is that in the eleventh hour, or maybe several hours past, God restored that hope and answered what we were asking for. It wasn’t in the way we had wanted, but nonetheless, He came through.
Honest questioning is part of the process – if we don’t deal honestly with our questions, we never go deeper. But in the questioning, we have to listen to the Spirit of God. The enemy will be there with lies; if I know God’s word and His character, the questioning will be a temporary thing.
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